Frustrated...wasted...cheated...how long am I gonna prolong the agony. This week had been so rough on me. On Monday, I got a call...a prospective "future holder". Apparently I felt happy, hopeful of what it may do to change me. But on Tuesday, I dreaded it. Cause the call was re-scheduled and I dont know when. I didnt like everything that happened. I wasnt able to log out from work which totally screwed up my records, I was notified again by my supervisor for some allegedly misunderstood workflow which they recommended I do re-training. And you know what's pissy, they get to notice each move I do when hell, I am doing my job. I should have not talked; I should have kept it to myself. But what the heck, I cant take the silence. So I had to say what I felt inside. Im no hypocrite. Im a human being with feelings. It doesnt mean that respect stops with the bosses. I deserve that, too.
Outside work, I feel no difference at all and this makes it so pathetic cause Im a prisoner of my own self. I have an enemy from within me. Someone who is pushing me to fight back, who is trying to steal my soul of kindness from reality. Someone who is dragging me to be rude, to hate everyone that I deal with. This may be a matter of stress. Stress is the major villain. No matter how much I outpour my emotion if everyday I deal with it, Im no good to anything. What is plan B? Im still waiting for answers. Tangible reasons to make my move...

Libra in 2005: Expansion is the theme

Flex your muscles, friend Libra, and prepare for a relatively easy ride. With beneficent Jupiter in your sign, this is definitely your year, especially where your social life is concerned. Happiness and enjoyment lie ahead. If you're not presently married, and want to be, you just might wed by the end of the year. This is the year you're going to be doing a lot of travel and learning about your world, as expansion is the theme. The one department of life that may not quite be as hopeful as you'd like could be your career, where advancement may be slow and satisfaction rare. By year's end, you may find yourself seriously considering a major change - all for the best.

My oh my, I dont know if I should feel happy about these or just give it a shrug. I just cant figure out how people get these kinds of prediction. It amazing cause it matches. Last month, my mom was asking Archie if he's ready to marry me on December of this year. That is one match. Another, I have plans of going to Hongkong to spend my birthday. Geeez, freaky but I dont wanna put it on my head. It could just be a mere coincidence. A simple manifestation of hope. Oh well, if it does come true then i'll just have to deal with it.
It's thursday. Thank God, one more day and it's another wacky weekend. I wont have to spend hours sitting infront a 19" monitor, a non-fashionable telephony that you have to deal with, a terrible headset to wear...sigh.well, it is my food for living. so i just have to face that fact...to live with it...ugh.
Archie's mom called me a while ago asking for her son. Mom was worried how her only child is doing. It's pretty odd cause I know he's perfectly fine. Not to know, that his son has not been getting in touch with them for three days and hell, her mom is getting really worried. I noticed it on her voice. Tsk tsk tsk. His parents will be coming next week to celebrate Archie's bday. Yup, he'll be 24 and I havent decided what to give him. hehehe. Though he already had his wishlists. On top of it was laptop, oakley glasses, white gold bracelet, wallet and bag. Atop all of these is actually a sports car that for sure am not financially capable of. His parents can but they just dont wanna give him. They fear on how their son is gonna handle it. I mean, being the only son, I bet they can't gamble with circumstances. I'm referring to how Archie is crazy about cars. He loves watching grand prix and F1 race. So they kind of fear about that. Well, they dont wanna lose their only gem. Its crazy but his phone is full of ferrari wallpapers and themes more than my own picture. Atleast i know its a car he's crazy with and not another Gail...
Salary is here but damn, it'll just slip in my hands. I have to pay a lotta expenses. Sigh. So much for now. Til next time. Au revoir

yahoo! friday na. i cant wait to go home for the weekends. syempre, i'll get to see my better half. hirap talaga kapag magkalayo, we always miss each other. sigh...
i hope everything is gonna do well this year, tama nga ata ung mga beliefs paminsan-minsan. kasi nun new year's eve, my family prepared round fruits. meron pang bulak. i asked what's it for, sabi para daw maging magaan ang buhay. im starting to think that it could be true cause i dont feel that stressful now. hehehe, syempre ayoko naman i dominate ung power ni God. ay naku, sa susunod na lang ulit kasi kung ano-ano na nasasabi ko. palibhasa antok na. c ya

its thursday. thanks God lapit na ang weekend. isang araw na pasukan na lang at rest day ko na. yey! im so happy to have found new friends at work. during the first 2 months of my transfer, i had a difficult time adjusting with the system. but thanks to my new found friends that is keeping me hold on. dati, wala akong gana pumasok kasi na-trauma ako sa PING. pero nun tumagal, naging ok na. and im having fun now. nagkakasundo naman kami so far sa kalokohan, sa point of views. hehehe, i must say we stand on to what we believe.
kanina nun pauwi kami ni Rona, dun sa stairs pa-akyat sa mrt...nagulat ako sa nakita kong mama na namamalimos hawak nya ung anak nya na me hydrocephalus. hindi nakita ni Rona. dinaanan lang namin sya nun una, pero nun nasa escalator na kami parang nalungkot ako sa nakita ko. so kinuwento ko ke Rona. di kasi sya tumingin. palibhasa, d tumitingin sa lupa ang lola Rona. hehehe. binalikan namin para mag-abot ng pera. sana lang gamitin un sa maayos na paraan at hindi gamitin ung kapansanan bata para kumita ng pera. nakakaawa kasi ung itsura nya. anyway, un lang naman ung nagawa namin na mabuti ngayong araw na to.

its again another brand new day. i slept straight for 7 hours today, still not enough :( i got disturbed by my sis' call. she called up to tell me to stay alert cause she read in the papers that an earthquake will strike Philippines in relation to that tsunami attack. i didnt like that news cause it always reminds me of the earth shake in Baguio. i didnt believe of course. well, i don't want to. she even explained that the tectonic plate is in between Indonesia and Philippines. oh good Lord is getting furious over us. though some publications allegedly claims that the tsunami is a man-made thing. like, maybe they're testing nuclear weapons. this could be, but then its too inhumane for them to have thought of it.
anyway, for a change...naiyak ako kanina kasi nagsitext ung mga pamangkin ko back home to say thanks dun sa mga gifts na bigay ko sa kanila. tears of joy. la lang, im such a cry baby and i feel good with simple thank you's. it may be a small thing to other people but it sure is a big thing for me and it's a nice thing to start the day.

yahoo

ang bilis ng araw lumipas pag nasa labas ako ng work.pero pag andito ako, sobrang bagal :( di ko na rin napigilan pag-alis nina mama. di bale, una ako sa list ng mag vl sa 31st. yahoo! sa wakas, makakapagbakasyon na rin ako.5 days rin un including my 2 days off. i'll get to visit home.

im feeling so sleepy and wasted today. i couldnt work well with my craft. im talking non sense. ill save it for next time.

2005

yehey! bagong taon na. isang taon na rin ako sa work. haaaay! ang bilis lumipas ng araw.
WRAP UP on New Year's Eve:
first time namin ng mama ko mag spend ng new year dito sa manila. so far so good naman. dun lang kami sa condo nag celebrate together with my 2 nieces and my older sibling. parang sobrang dami namin sa bahay dahil sa ingay. buti nga nakauwi ako nun from work. since kami lang, we just had cake, spaghetti, pizza, kare-kare and kaldereta to eat. syempre, hindi mawawala ung mga round fruits. masaya naman kahit pano. though iba pa rin ung spirit kapag nasa sarili kang bahay. hmmm, napilitan nga lang magcelebrate dito sina mama kasi wala akong kasama. umuwi lahat ng kasama ko sa bahay. but im making sure that this year, ako na ang umuwi. d kasi ako nakapag-file ng leave e, naubusan. bawi ako ngayon. hehehe. tumalon pa nga ako baka sakaling meron pang naiiwang pag-asa para lumaki ako. hihihi.
TODAY:
early today, medyo busy wrapping gifts. yes, delayed gifts for my nephews and nieces back home in Kalinga. uuwi na kasi sina mama tomorrow. first time kong bumili ng gifts to give out. ang sarap ng feeling na nakakagulat kasi nabubutas bulsa. hehehe. bunso kasi ako and im used to the fact na ako nireregalohan lagi. that was before, nun musmos pa ako. nun me gatas pa ako sa labi, ngayon nasa buhok ko na. mali! hindi na gatas nasa labi ko, laway na. nyahahaha! though andun pa rin ung pagiging baby ko kasi super alaga parin ako nina mama and my sister. nakakahiya man sabihin pero they are always making sure na ok ako sa lahat ng bahay. ung cabinet ko, maayos. ala prinsesa na ang itsura ng kwarto ko sa mga nilagay na curtains. hehehe. tinutukso ako nun una kasi madilim daw. un nga ung gusto ko mangyari, ung maging madilim kasi sa araw ako tulog. pwede na raw tawaging dark room at mag develop ng film. loko nila ako. archie dropped by to give his pasalubong for me, fresh strawberries and my all time fave lengua. dala rin nya ung pinabili ni mari na Romana peanut brittle. sinipag ang baby ko magdala. hehehe, certified pa naman un sa katamaran magbuhat ng marami kapag nagtatravel. ang taba ko raw sabi niya :( e sya naman ang malaki ang tiyan! hmp. kung hindi ko lang sya mahal...naku! hihihi. sigh, now im back for work. tapos na ang sandaling kaligayahan ko during my rest days. uuwi na sina mama, balik sa normal na naman ang buhay ko. bahay trabaho na naman ako. gusto ko nga sana sumama kaya lang kulang lang ung time ko dun kaya mag vl na lang ako para mas matagal. i've gotta lot of plans this year and that im pretty excited what God has for me. o sya, andito na makukulit kong friends. hehehe. tom ulit!