December 30, 2004

back for good

hi! yes, you dont have to tell me. it has been sometime since i last posted here. sorry about that, i had been up to a lot of things lately. i love my BLOG! big thanks to Ice. take a bite y'all.
well, im spending the holidays with my mom here. i wasnt fortunate to get days off from work so they had to come visit me instead. its ok though, atleast im not alone. last xmas, chie joined us in cavite. it was fun. and guess what he gave me, a thong? unluckily not. hehehe. he surprised me with a white gold necklace. sweet huh. well, that's my man.
i may have not mentioned about him but i must say he is a gift. in my previous post i shared to you my grievest, mournful experiences in life. like they say, "storm may hit all at once, but the best thing they dont last forever" and so he came. on the last few days of liam (bf who died) he once told me that he will look for the right guy for me. and so came archie. of course it wasnt an instant process. but i just knew it. when chie and i were still dating, i had the signs of liam. liam was an only child. he was half chinese. these are the intial hints i felt. chie was an only child, too. apparently, i thought he also had a chinese blood cause he said he graduated high school in patriotic, which is a chinese school in baguio. only to find out that he missed the entrance examination for freshmen in boys high. anyway, it wasn't bad. i couldnt think of anything else...i love this guy. now im back for good. happy and fulfilled.

December 04, 2004

death becomes the shadow of truth

...and so i mourned. but tell you what,here's a li'l spice on Liam's death. he died in the morning of July 17 then got a call from my sister in the afternoon informing that my gramps had died. what would you feel? i couldnt say a word.i couldnt even cry. i was caught up in the middle of 2 loved ones that left me.it was such an excruciating feeling.pains that were too difficult to handle.truth that was unacceptable. i grieved...
and when November 14 came,my world reached its darkest spot. it was the end of my dreams. it all ceased in me when the closest man i have died. the man whom i loved but never knew. the only man who pushed me to be my best.who taught me how life is. my inspiration and my strength. he is my DAD.the best man of my life. he was the 3rd person i lost on that same year. the most precious person.i never knew what condolence meant until he died.though im partly happy cause he died peacefully.and he knew he'll be gone on that day...
my dad was very strict. he rarely talks to the family. but the only possession he'd want me to hand him was my diploma. yes,im close to him cause im the youngest. my siblings could hardly start a conversation with him cause he wasnt that easy to handle. i was the only person who could make him laugh,who could argue with him about politics. but now it's all gone forever...

December 03, 2004

back shadows

hey,im feeling so sleepy today.i have to mention,the weather is terribly bad that my newly bought umbrella was broken.sigh
seriously,i havent really told much about myself, have i? there are so many things that happened in my life.i have always wanted to write a book about me and share it.so i thought,this may be my chance to spill the beans.
at my age,i must say i had been through a lot.i lost 3 loved ones in one year.that was in 2000.it was the most devastating year for me.first,i was feeling happy and content with my bf (Liam) but one day,i lost him.he died in chicago airport after his heart operation back in davao.he flew to chicago with his dad after the unsuccessful operation.so i was not there during his suffering...the moment that im losing him forever.i could not be with him then cause i was caught up doing my internship and thesis back in college.i felt so useless and selfish and i kept blaming myself.the day he died was the day he promised to see me and give me the ring.yeah,the ring that will bind us together forever.but i was so unlucky to lose him.though i knew it was meant to happen.these are his last words. "i am sorry,but i am only meant to be your angel.i will be the one to look for the right man for you.then he whispered,i love you gail"...sigh...i never thought that would be our last conversation.the last time im gonna hear his voice.
my world was shattered.i began to blame Him.i started to distrust Him for not sparing my boyfriend another chance to live...

December 02, 2004

busy

hi,im back.been busy lately.is my new skin nice?i miss my day shift schedule.its far happier than the graveyard.i really cant compose myself right now cause im always feeling tired.when i get home,instead of sleeping right away,i play sims first...you'll soon know more about me in time..c ya!