back shadows

hey,im feeling so sleepy today.i have to mention,the weather is terribly bad that my newly bought umbrella was broken.sigh
seriously,i havent really told much about myself, have i? there are so many things that happened in my life.i have always wanted to write a book about me and share it.so i thought,this may be my chance to spill the beans.
at my age,i must say i had been through a lot.i lost 3 loved ones in one year.that was in 2000.it was the most devastating year for me.first,i was feeling happy and content with my bf (Liam) but one day,i lost him.he died in chicago airport after his heart operation back in davao.he flew to chicago with his dad after the unsuccessful operation.so i was not there during his suffering...the moment that im losing him forever.i could not be with him then cause i was caught up doing my internship and thesis back in college.i felt so useless and selfish and i kept blaming myself.the day he died was the day he promised to see me and give me the ring.yeah,the ring that will bind us together forever.but i was so unlucky to lose him.though i knew it was meant to happen.these are his last words. "i am sorry,but i am only meant to be your angel.i will be the one to look for the right man for you.then he whispered,i love you gail"...sigh...i never thought that would be our last conversation.the last time im gonna hear his voice.
my world was shattered.i began to blame Him.i started to distrust Him for not sparing my boyfriend another chance to live...