February 13, 2005

Hi, its been a while since my last post. I went to visit home for 3 days. Sadly, I got back sick. Though I got well pretty fast. Thanks to Archie.

I have been through a lot of thinking lately. Some confusion and indecisions are playing seesaw in my mind. Its all about work, how to feel content with what I have. There are moments when I think of moving out because of reasons that are simply beyond my control. The thing that confuses me a lot is that, why are people who have good jobs still leave? They love the work. The compensation is perfect. But why leave? I guess the reasons behind these are the culprits. It could be the company, its policies or just some airhead's fault. In my case, its the latter's. Have you ever been to a situation when you knew you are doing the right thing but because of power and subordination, you end up the villain? That sucks, right? Hell, yes. And no matter how much you fight for your right, you still end up the loser. Those people with power should help you improve in ways that you take your alleged "mistake" as a fulfillment and not otherwise. But their policy is a crap. I'm not saying this out of one incident but Im pointing out things in general. If you are a leader, from the word itself - you should be the one to lead. Lead in ways that other people would respect and trust you. Make sure that you are a master of your own craft. Dont put your people into the hot plate. You know, I tried putting myself onto the shoes of a leader. And on the way their policy works, I am not helping my people to be motivated. Instead it humiliated them. Why, because we dont deal with the problem face-to-face. Its through writing and this includes all other powerful people to witness. In this process, do you think you are helping the person improve? Well, think again. Its a public ridicule. People are personally ridiculed in the process. This is a reality check.

Despite this helpless situation, at some point Im holding back. Im being stopped by reasons that would mean risk, which is why I ended up thinking. Sigh...I just hope for a happy ending.