Frustrated...wasted...cheated...how long am I gonna prolong the agony. This week had been so rough on me. On Monday, I got a call...a prospective "future holder". Apparently I felt happy, hopeful of what it may do to change me. But on Tuesday, I dreaded it. Cause the call was re-scheduled and I dont know when. I didnt like everything that happened. I wasnt able to log out from work which totally screwed up my records, I was notified again by my supervisor for some allegedly misunderstood workflow which they recommended I do re-training. And you know what's pissy, they get to notice each move I do when hell, I am doing my job. I should have not talked; I should have kept it to myself. But what the heck, I cant take the silence. So I had to say what I felt inside. Im no hypocrite. Im a human being with feelings. It doesnt mean that respect stops with the bosses. I deserve that, too.
Outside work, I feel no difference at all and this makes it so pathetic cause Im a prisoner of my own self. I have an enemy from within me. Someone who is pushing me to fight back, who is trying to steal my soul of kindness from reality. Someone who is dragging me to be rude, to hate everyone that I deal with. This may be a matter of stress. Stress is the major villain. No matter how much I outpour my emotion if everyday I deal with it, Im no good to anything. What is plan B? Im still waiting for answers. Tangible reasons to make my move...