August 16, 2005

This thing bugging me is gonna lead me to the dungeon if I dont do something to stop it. I am so freakin tired figuring out what makes my heart so numb. And I am afraid that even my relationship with him is dragged to this giant wall to boredom.

I dont know what happened to me. I feel like a ultra-violet ray had hit me and now I am feeling mal-functions on my heart. Fantastic! Hehehe. All of a sudden I feel frozen. Like in science, we have the process where aerobic things need carbon dioxide and releases oxygen.
That is a fact and natural. As for me, the simile is that I tend to select only the emotion that would fit in my heart. And sadly, all that is filtered are just mere sadness, incompetence, boredom, negation and what not.

Maybe I am simply not happy anymore with what I do. The weather is fine so I cant have any other excuse for a reason. I feel like there is no more spice in my life. Everything is done so routinely. Maybe I need some change. An amusement park would be an answer, or a getaway somewhere. Aaah, I dont know. But what is definite is that it does not intend to leave my heart soon. How sad could that be?

My friend came over tonight for dinner and I slept instead of seeing her. I am so not me nowadays. I dont want the day to come and I will regret losing people close to me just because of this unexplainable thing going on. I sound so dramatic or give a big of a deal about it but hey, I dont know how else to say. Can someone slap me please?

I dont know if this is worth writing but I will share it anyway. On my way home a lady approached me and handed a piece of paper with a picture of a globe and a hand. The text read: sino nga ba talaga ang pinuno ng sanlibutan? Oh yes, you got it perfectly right. It was one of the afternoon encounters with the followers of a certain sect, which would be close to Jehovah (I am not sure).

After reading the novel Da Vinci code, I was stunned. I was jaw-dropped with the stuffs I had read. May it be true or not, such an idea is fathomless. Whew! Now I wonder what is true from not. There was line I read that meant history is a single-sided story. I kind of thought it is somewhat true. We never get to read the other side of the story.

Well, it had sort of stirred my mind. I know this is an argumentative topic. I have been exposed to a lot of religions and I respect each. The only thing that I am certain about is that the church will not save us. It is our faith and deeds. Does that make sense?