November 20, 2006

I have been contemplating on a lot of things lately, things that have an enormous impact in my life now and the future. I wish that it is easy to just iron out the wrinkled edges of life but I simply cannot, because it is not perfect at all. There are flaws I cannot rule out and I get it. I am not worrying like hell because I know that He is with me. He is like my supervisor approving the things I do on earth then He signs it officially. The latest approval He made for me was my getting back here. And I am grateful that He sees how good my intentions are. Yet, like I said, imperfections are inescapable. It may not come from me but from others who surrounds me.

Rough roads shake me but hey, it actually helps me redirect things and really think a lot. Without these humps, I will never see the other side. And I am glad that I have seen it coming right before things is officially signed by Him.

Many times I wanted to outrun pain, but given the life stains each of us has, I think it is given to be hurt. Truly, a provocative person spins me. No matter how peaceful I live my life, it still would not work because of imperfections. It tires me at times but then I have to understand that I need it to make me feel stronger and experienced. It sucks that negativities help us earn the experience. This is one oddity of life that is based on truth.

Somehow I manage to balance pain and happiness at the same time. A true sense of being is to adapt oneself in both sides of the world. And so I make the best of both worlds for when time comes, I will have stories to tell my children about living in pain and in happiness at once.