I have been counting the days until I depart back to the Philippines for a short vacation. It's been almost a year. And I'm having mixed emotions right now. I'm excited and afraid at the same time. Excited of course to see my crazy-big family yet afraid of seeing home without my mom.
I have moved on somehow. But seeing the place where all the memories were left behind could open that wound again. I wish that I'll be strong enough to face the truth. That she's been gone. I'm going back to visit her grave and celebrate our birthdays. I know that she'd be happy. It just saddens me when I remember that after the success I'm having in my life, she's not there to witness it all. But somehow I have accepted the truth, that God needed her to be with Him in the place where sickness is non-existent, where there is no room for hatred, anger, selfishness, and the like.
Anyway, I hope everything goes pretty well. I've started buying stuffs for everyone back home. Ack! Money is gone in just a matter of minutes. Whew! Nevertheless, it is worth it.
I have moved on somehow. But seeing the place where all the memories were left behind could open that wound again. I wish that I'll be strong enough to face the truth. That she's been gone. I'm going back to visit her grave and celebrate our birthdays. I know that she'd be happy. It just saddens me when I remember that after the success I'm having in my life, she's not there to witness it all. But somehow I have accepted the truth, that God needed her to be with Him in the place where sickness is non-existent, where there is no room for hatred, anger, selfishness, and the like.
Anyway, I hope everything goes pretty well. I've started buying stuffs for everyone back home. Ack! Money is gone in just a matter of minutes. Whew! Nevertheless, it is worth it.
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