My 2010.

Olah!

I skipped work today to rest my aching foot. So I decided to visit my virtual site. Wow, that has been over 3 months of no update. The turn of events in my life had kept me away from here.

Geez, my last post was back in November. Wadda-eff right? Didn't even had the chance to share how my 2010 ended. Well, it's never too late, is it? I gotta say, I had just the right amount of ups and downs last year.

• January: My status changed to married. Hence, I conquered my mission to somehow "win" the hearts of my in-laws. It was unexpectedly one of the memorable times in my life
  :)

• February: Bound to Singapore to try my luck again since Archie is here. First trial of the year, was held in the SG Immigration for some interrogation. Yes, was asked questions but I did not worry a single bit. Why? Cause I fed them with the information rather than them searching for answers in their system. Told them it's "not my first entry to Singapore" and that "I worked previously under a different name". But since "I am now married, am using my husband's surname. Here's a copy of my husband's details. I also have the authenticated copy of our marriage certificate..." Then the Immigration Officer finally convinced that I am not here to do any thing but visit my husband. There goes the exit door and saw my hubby from afar. Whew!

• March: Only went to two interviews. One was in Hitachi and the other was InterCall. Two different job scopes. First was logistics whilst the latter was conferencing. I prayed and asked God for his blessing. Either of the two will be fine. First luck of the year, I got the offer from InterCall. To double that luck, Hitachi also called to tell I was hired. But too late, I just signed with the InterCall just minutes earlier. Oh well, gotta let go the other. But yeah, thanks God!

• April: Archie requested that we move to another place closer to where he works. We were then living in the East whilst his work is at the West. Yep, it was quite a sacrifice for him. He bare the travel for me when I used to work for DHL. But since I got a new one, I had to grant his request.

• May: We found a place. It was in a condominium. Second trial of the year, our agent was a fake! We found days before we moved that owner didn't want to renew the lease so we only had 4 days to stay in that place and then moved to the next bldg. Mind you, it was our first time to move from the place we lived for nearly 3 years. This kind of mess was not an easy thing for us. And so we moved to the next bldg. Two weeks later, agents and prospective clients come and go viewing the place. WTH! It was chaotic! After that we were again moved to another condominium this time. And we were allowed to stay for a month only. It was up to us if we were willing to continue. The flat was huge with 4 rooms, etc. The rent was a whooping $4,500. N-O! @_@

• June: Found a nice place. It was in Dover inside the Singapore Poly compound. We liked it so we stayed.

• July: Jo and Wence came to visit. It was one of the highlights of the year for me. Got to visit Indonesia. We basked in the sun, and just had a real good time. Short and sweet month :)
  
  
  

• August: I had the rarest conversation with my kumare Rona about investments. Since I chat with her a lot how I love to travel, she referred me to her agent about an investment that will be put to use in the future. I was engrossed with the idea that I liked it at an instance. Talked to Archie and we both liked it.

• September: So I went to Manila for a short-secret trip to sign that investment. Boom! I have something I call my own...our own.

• October: Archie's cousin, Kuya Vernz was hospitalized and was going critical. Tough but he managed, thanks God.

• November: Mom-in-law was brought to ICU. Abnormal heartbeat. Sad, but she managed. Another work of God, thank you. The Pinay owner of the flat we were staying at said that we only have until Feb 1st of this year (2011) to stay. It didn't come as a surprise cause we were actually planning to move out. She just happened to spoke first.

• December: Started to look for flats to rent. Viewed here and there until we found the perfect place. Lakeside it is! But before we even moved, we took a break first from all the stress. We went to Krabi, Thailand to celebrate our first wedding anniversary. Straight from Thailand, we we eventually moved and welcomed the new year in our new-found home.
  

So that was my ups and downs of 2010 in a nutshell. Looking forward to having a better 2011 ahead!

Change.

“There is nothing permanent in this world but change.” Change can either be good or bad in one’s life.

Each journey we go through in life will always be an example of change. From being born to growing up, to living independently, and starting a new family, change is one of the main ingredients. When a person starts to have a family of his/her own, life will tremendously change.

In entering a marriage alone, two families will become one. And one of the challenges in the process would be the act of acceptance - of the family members of the spouse. Can we measure love through acceptance?

I know a friend who is now having a difficult time fighting against change and acceptance. When your boyfriend or girlfriend used to be nice to your family, is there a guarantee that this will remain when you’re married?

I feel for my friend. She’s torn between her family and husband. Her husband is cold to her family. He has changed unexpectedly towards them.

I guess there are people in this world who are not completely true to themselves or to others until the real time comes.

Beach mode

Alright...after a visit in the province, I packed my personal stuffs in my bag and headed for the beach.

Haay, my vacation here in the Philippines is really well-spent. Since I started working overseas two years ago, I usually come home to visit for only a week. So this time it's worthwhile.

Hello Bolinao! I love it...




Beh! hahaha...my havs!

Giant croc at my back hihi...with my niece Jamaica

Visit

I visited Tabuk to see my siblings and spent time with my nephews and nieces. They're growing up so fast.

And I also took the chance to visit mom and dad's tombs. Dad is turning 10 years in November and Mom's 3rd this June.

Sister

My sister celebrated her 50th birthday on this day. Happy birthday, ate!

Miss you in a heartbeat

Happy Father's day to all the fathers out there.

I'm feeling mushy today not only because it's father's day, but also for the reason that my mom just turned two years since she passed away. And to commemorate for may parents' passing, I went to church early to offer prayer.

I'm glad to still come around.

Dad and Mama, miss you both in a heartbeat.

Quick memoirs on my 28th Bday...

snapshot with the birthday gals!


with my sis-in-law (in pink) Acoy and Tin posing for a shot


inside the bucket is our own version of chicken joy hehe


with my nephew Daryl, my host-brother, nephew Rocky and niece Riza

My birthday was simple gathered by family members and some friends. Despite the foggy weather outside, we'd managed to enjoy the party with a little videoke on the side. hehe I miss them back home...again. See you next year! Muah

Woooshhh!

That's how time flies since this weekend. I haven't been able to spend time here in my cyber home because of too much work in hand. I packed up all the stuffs that I need to bring home. Yes, O-M-G! I'm super excited. It's been almost a year and I'd want to make sure this trip (even if it's short) to be worthwhile. I have everything pre-planned from the day I depart to arrival. I miss my family. I miss everyone. Well, I hope they miss me too hehe. I can't wait to embrace the cold and foggy Baguio. Four more days to go, Baguio here I come!

Commemoration

I'd like to greet everyone a Happy Baguio Day. Baguio City will always be the home I'd like to go back to. It was the place that nurtured me well. I will always remember it as the place I've grown. Since my christening in Baguio, I remember every summer of my childhood spent in the place. It will always be the simple yet blissful place I'd like to spend the older years of my life. Again, cheers to Baguio Day! The photo above is the famous Lion's Head, a welcome stone-carved symbol seen when arriving to Baguio City.

Photo Credit: http://www.cityofpines.com/lionshead01.jpg

Counting

I have been counting the days until I depart back to the Philippines for a short vacation. It's been almost a year. And I'm having mixed emotions right now. I'm excited and afraid at the same time. Excited of course to see my crazy-big family yet afraid of seeing home without my mom.

I have moved on somehow. But seeing the place where all the memories were left behind could open that wound again. I wish that I'll be strong enough to face the truth. That she's been gone. I'm going back to visit her grave and celebrate our birthdays. I know that she'd be happy. It just saddens me when I remember that after the success I'm having in my life, she's not there to witness it all. But somehow I have accepted the truth, that God needed her to be with Him in the place where sickness is non-existent, where there is no room for hatred, anger, selfishness, and the like.

Anyway, I hope everything goes pretty well. I've started buying stuffs for everyone back home. Ack! Money is gone in just a matter of minutes. Whew! Nevertheless, it is worth it.

Don't Fade Away. Today is my dad's 84th birthday. Happy Birthday Dad! Missing you dearly.

(And) I've been waiting here for you
Waiting for a sign from you
I feel very cold
That I can't smile no more

Your voice doesn't sound so clear
I don't think it's fair
Your dreams disappeared
I hope you'll be alright
We hope you'll be alright ...

Chorus:
(Father) Don't fade away from me
For you will always be
My sweetest memory
A friend so dear to me ...

And I don't mean to sound so sad
But if you only knew, I miss you so bad
I won't forget your life
We won't forget your life ...

Bridge:
I know it's gonna take time
But you will never be off my mind, oh no
I sit here crying many tears
But I wish you were still here ...

June 21. I was completely oblivious of the date yesterday. I got caught up with my errands when I realized that it was yesterday, one year ago, when I lost the greatest person in my life.

I am now a year-old orphan. I think the thought of forgetting it yesterday wasn't so bad after all. I guess it just meant that I have moved on. Though I know in my heart that I will never ever forget my mom.

She still inspires me everyday. I am reminded of her each time I feel so weary about life. There are moments when I feel like giving up. I feel as if life has no more purpose especially without the people we love.

I remember the priest's sermon yesterday was about fear of death. I think many of us fear death. But for an orphan like me, I'm not afraid to die. Since I lost my parents, there are times when I feel like waiting for my death because I can't wait to see them again. When I lost mama, I always count each day, calculate each year hoping when I'd see her again. Sometimes I wonder, will they (mama and papa) ever recognize me when my time comes? I always detest what the elders traditionally say that when people die, they will "no longer see their families after life as their own but will all be brothers and sisters in the eyes of God." No, I want to see them the way they did while they were on earth. I know it is crazy but the attachment I had with my parents especially with my mom is incomparable. No money can buy the bond I had with her. She was my best friend and teacher.

Despite my great loss, I know that they are always there to guard me spiritually. Death has not separated me from everything they had taught me. What I have become is what they would have wanted me to be.

In memory of my beloved mama, I love you so much and miss you in a heartbeat!

Happy Father's Day...

He was not rich but a good provider. He was not a degree holder but my greatest mentor and inspiration. He was my source of strength to carry on with life no matter how difficult it'll be. He shaped my mind to aim for success. He was my protector. He was strict but managed to teach me good values. He was the person I could talk to with anything and everything under the sun. He was the person I can joke around freely. He was the man, the only father I can ever be proud of. Love you and miss you dearly!

Whoa, time flies so fast I didn’t realize it took me over 2 weeks to update my blog. I’ve been caught up with work a lot lately. Sigh, I’m feeling pretty exhausted with just a little amount of time to spare. I only had a day to rest. Poor me, I had to stretch the day in doing all of my chores i.e. attend mass, going to the grocery, ironing clothes and the cooking. I think to multi-task is not only applied at work but also in our daily stuffs especially without anyone to rely on but ourselves. It sucks big time! I’d really like to trade places with Posh Beckham who multi-tasks in lavish ways i.e. being a mom, wife to famous husband, shopping shoes, bags, a jet-setter, etc. Haha!

***

Last Friday May 23, Archie and I went to dine at Tony Roma’s in celebration to our 5th year together. Weee! It was definitely memorable. We had a sumptuous meal. Yum! I missed eating steak so much. We’re both a fan of steaks but I rarely see restaurants that cater to it here, or maybe I wasn’t too much of an explorer to check out all the places, I could be wrong though. I remember back in the Philippines we are one of the frequent diners of this local steakhouse in Baguio called Sizzling Plate. They serve the best Australian Porterhouse in the city. Well, no place like home they say, hehe. Anyway, I’d like to treasure that night not only for the superb meal but for the reason of celebrating. It is cliché but I gotta say, 5 years is FIVE years. Hehe, I’m grateful to have such a wonderful boyfriend who understands and accepts the best and WORST of me. I love you! Hugs and Kisses!

On Saturday, I attended our company sponsored training titled The Art of Service held at the Singapore Orchid Country Club. Goodness! The place is really at the far end of where I stay. Huhu, I had to wake up some 3-hours before call time to get ready, aiyu! But despite the hassle, I did enjoy the training. It was an added experience and an opportunity to mingle with colleagues. Oh and I love the place, it was so serene. Wish I could stay there longer. Hehe (in my dreams) One more thing, for the first time, I got to play soccer – in the car park. Haha! Nice, right? Overall, it was a fun-packed weekend. What about you, how did you spend your weekend? Ciao!

It’s time for me to let you know

Why I’m so glad that I have you through all these years

I am so thankful

Now that I’ve grown up

I’ll always be

Thinking of all the things

You’ve taught me so

Always remember

I’ll be alright

I’ll be okay

I will be good and

Loving you all the way

All from the heart

These things I do

I’ll make you proud

Because I love you

I’ll be alright

I’ll be okay

I will be fine and

I will be good all the way

All from the heart

These things I do I’ll make you proud

Because I do

I love you so

I will stand tall

And try not to fall

As I reach all my goal

I will go on

And I will move on

All because of you,For you...

I’ll be alright

I’ll be okay

I will be good and

Loving you all the way

All from the heart

These things I doI’ll make you proud

Because I love you

I’ll be alright I’ll be okay

I will be fine and I will be good all the way

All from the heart

These things I do I’ll make you proud

Because I do I love you so

I love you so

I love you so I love you

A part of me is still struggling to move on after you left. I try so hard to live , even away from where I could remember everything. I will forever have this torn heart, torn of longing to see the most important person in my life ever again. I have my dreams coming to reality, yet I dont have you to share with. It pains me to see all of it on my own. I wish I have Hiro Nakamura's power, so I could turn back time and spend each moment with you in bliss. You still inspire me in my heart and mind. I know that you are looking after me. And I thank each night that I dream of you, because it's the only thing I could get closest to you. I miss you, mama.

Last Monday, I couldn’t sleep. Strange but I was up all night. And I felt like maybe my mom was with me trying to say something or maybe just looking at me in bed. Since her death, I always imagined the movie Ghost. I feel like she is always here keeping an eye on things.

I had the broken heart for the passed two weeks. I grieved terribly each day because there’s a part of me that blames myself for what happened. And I cant stop thinking about it. I drowned myself believing it was my fault. Though I did say sorry to mom a thousand times but it just aint enough because I wanna know that she accepted it. I know it was meant to happen but I still feel this certain emotional baggage that is blocking some airway in my heart telling, what if things were different. I had this feeling because I don’t want my siblings to think that I didn’t take good care of her. I gave up my comfort zone a few years ago so I can look after her. And I often tell my friends how I value my mom that I have to be with her each time. So it is really hard to move on.

Others say, dead people will eventually reappear in dreams. And I waited for it to happen until Monday night. I had the chance to really say how sorry I was. Mom accepted my apology and hugged me so tight I almost felt it was true. She squeezed me and cried really hard on each others’ shoulders. Oh how I miss that warm hug from her L I really miss her. From then on, I felt relieved. If I think of her now, I don’t feel the ache in my heart as I did before, only a bit. I can freely think of her in bliss. I’m happy of what had become. Mama, I will miss you forever in this world. I love you so much!

Lord, ayaw ko pa. Wag mo muna akong kunin kawawa ang anak ko magisa niya. These were the last few heartbreaking words my mom uttered during the time of her suffrage.

No word can console my great loss right now. Every second that my mind is unoccupied, I think of her. And I still cant believe that I lost the greatest person in my life.

Mama, I know that you are very proud of me. I hope that in the smallest way I could think of, I made you happy. I was unprepared of your trip to heaven but I know you are safe in your journey. I knew you fought hard to get back for me, but your purpose in this world is over. I prayed and asked God for an extension, but there wasn’t any. You hadn’t seen me settle and I knew it was all you wanted. But you knew my plans and will stick to it through His blessings. It still pains me that you were gone. You were not only a mom to me but the best of friend, teacher, great cook and a humbled person. I promise to keep the good traits you trained me. I will forever thank you for the wonderful things you taught me and forever cherish the moments we shared together for the last 3 years of your life. I love you so much and I am missing you every second of each day, thank you and until we meet again.

She used to be my only enemy and never let me free,
Catching me in places that I know I shouldn't be,
Every other day I crossed the line,
I didn't mean to be so bad,
I never thought you would
Become the friend I never had

Back then I didn't know why,
Why you were misunderstood,
So now I see through your eyes,
all that you did was love,
Mama I love you,
Mama I care,
Mama I love you, Mama my friend,
My friend

I didn't want to hear it then but
I'm not ashamed to say it now,
Every little thing you said and did was right for me,
I had a lot of time to think about,
About the way I used to be,
Never had a sense of my responsibility.

Back then I didn't know why,
Why you were misunderstood,
So now I see through your eyes,
All that you did was love,
Mama I love you,
Mama I care,
Mama I love you,
Mama my friend,
My friend

But now I'm sure I know why,
Why you were misunderstood,
So now I see through your eyes,
All I can give you is love,
Mama I love you,
Mama I care,
Mama I love you,
Mama my friend,
My friend
Mama I love you,
Mama I care,
Mama I love you,
Mama my friend,
You're my friend

To all of you, I no longer have a parent alive. I hope that this will serve as an inspiration for you to spend each moment with your parents while you can hug them warmly, while you can say sorry, and i love you. For when the time comes, when they are gone, only in dreams will each longing be filled.